new years.

I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did. Ringing in 2012 shall be a good evening. Make sure you spend it with those you love the most.

i and love and you.

A small shout out to The Avett Brothers. Hopefully I can attend another one of your more than enjoyable shows soon.

hope.

  There is a piece of something that we all carry in our hearts, even more so when times get tough. This treasure possesses the ability to keep us waking up each day. It makes no sense for us to walk into a mess. When things seem to be perfect in life, why would we choose an opposite path? We must believe that there is something greater that the Lord wants to accomplish. And He does want to accomplish it. The Lord would never take His children through something that would be to their detriment. If we are choosing Him and wanting truth, we will be blessed by exactly what we need.
  We were given hope in Christ: A promise of a savior to change the course of our fleshly lives into the pursuit of a real relationship with God. If we would allow Him, the Lord is able to fulfill each and every desire of our hearts. As humans, hearing this could mean that if we love God then we just get everything we want. If I have learned anything lately it is that when we pursue the Lord our desires become more like His. I may not receive everything the way I think I want it, but it is helpful to know that He is listening regardless. I read over some of my recent journal entries made. In reading, I discovered some requests I had asked of the Lord and soon forgotten. It was a blessing to see that those small things just written with a bit of hope are actually coming to fruition. It is true that we can trust the Lord. He has written our story long before we could hold a pen.
  I might know what I need today. Potentially, I could give you an estimate of what I would like or need in a year. But the Lord, in His grace, knows what will fulfill me for eternity. Though I have no choice but Him, I choose Him. His mercy is new every morning. I know that only through having to lean on it. A life with Christ may be the hardest, most challenging, tear-creating, and rough path that you could ever choose, but don't let that scare you. Choosing Christ means choosing life abounding in love and peace. It gives us the supernatural ability to trust others. It stirs us to overcome troubles that we encounter. It encourages us to keep going. He loves us and wants to give us the desires of our hearts.

Currently Listening: The dog that my parents are debating whether to keep or not.
 

christmas.

  Much of what we walk through in life has no explanation. Whether the reason is that the Lord would rather we not know or the answers will be revealed later, at times it is much too hard for our heart to take. When thinking over the past year I remember many fond memories. I was able to travel to a few different states while enjoying the company of loved ones. I was blessed with many gifts and times of laughter. It is good to remind ourselves that it is the joy of the morning that causes us to walk through the sorrow. I've heard that the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter as you walk towards it. That involves taking steps into the ominous darkness before something gets brighter. 

  I have to say that the past two Christmases I have been blessed with the best gifts I could have asked for. Last Christmas, my best friend surprised me with a trip to Asheville for the Avett Brothers' New Year's show. It was a trip filled with laughs and such joy in my heart that at any moment I thought my heart would overflow. Asheville became a treasure in my heart that I never thought another gift would surpass. This year, though a trip was not the gift, I was given something that just a few mentions hinted. The record player and three records above were my gift. They were perfectly thought through. I have been to a concert by each of the artists with my best friend and I carry each of those memories close to my heart. When you know someone is listening it makes such a difference. 

  I know not what tomorrow will hold. My heart can only hope and hold onto Christ. I have been shaken in many ways this year, but I know that the purpose is to only make me stronger. When everything that can be shaken is shaken, the remaining structure will stand. I am growing and learning each day. All we have to hold onto is Christ. He will not disappoint. 

  I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas and is blessed by the season that brings us hope, comfort, joy, and peace.

Currently Listening: Chatter from my family opening gifts on Christmas day. 

almost here.

  With only a few more days until Christmas, stealing away some time to just write is difficult. Today I was able to craft together two more of my own gifts and even help my brother with some creativity of his own. For a season that we want to last the longest, it flies by. In about a week, decorations will come down, the tree will lose just enough needles for us to say goodbye and the the most wonderful time of the year will come to a close. It happens just like that. We seem to wait so anxiously and furiously for something to begin yet before we know it it's over. 

  Trying to enjoy Christmas while we have it is my goal. Older people always tell us that years go by faster once you start to grow older. I don't think I have quite felt that way up until this year. In some good ways the season has approached and continued swiftly. Last night after a trip to the grocery with my parents, I began to make some Christmas treats. To my heart's delight we turned on "White Christmas" and at least some of the family was around to enjoy the tradition. 

  The reason for the season brings me such encouragement. Christmas became a holiday because of a savior being brought into the world. I joke about Christmas miracles sometimes, but if I can't be more cheesy, Jesus was a miracle that saved each and every one of us. Saint Nicholas was a nice fellow that gave children gifts, but Christ saved our lives. A red suit and presents over the years has overshadowed the manger tucked away in a barn. Though the season may get hectic and at times I might find it hard to catch my breath, I always want to take time to thank the Lord for the gift of His son. 

  I am so thankful for the presence of the Lord in my life. I learn more each day of how much I can trust Him. Merry Christmas! 

Currently Listening: "Christmas Time is Here" By Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack

presser hall.

  To make up for a missed show in October, The Civil Wars traveled back South December tenth in order to bless the people of Atlanta with a night of perfect harmonies. Disappointment from the earlier scheduled show soon dissipated as the swells of beautifully haunting music filled Agnes Scott's Presser Hall. Short anecdotes of how John Paul White and Joy Williams came to be the success they are caused the hearts of the audience to rejoice. It was a chance meeting; a story that could easily fill a fiction novel, yet it was real. I probably have listened to their full-length album more times than I could count, but I felt as though I was hearing all of the careful compositions for the first time. 

  The duo was meant to perform. The album "Barton Hollow" catches just enough of the magic to draw you in, but there is nothing like seeing the act live. They laugh. They play. They tease and talk. Above all, they love what they do and are so grateful that people would take a night out of their week to attend the show. 

  To accompany me that evening was my best friend. Due to a silly mix up of both of us buying the other a pair of tickets, we were left with two extra that we sold to another couple that joined us for the evening. It was nice to have a chance to tell of God's hand in our relationship. I was reminded of the grace we have had the privilege to walk under. It is easy to forget just how much has been accomplished when there are few opportunities to share. God has chosen quite a road for us to traverse, but I can be nothing but thankful. Walking in the cold to the venue reminded me of some of the first months of knowing each other. I think from the beginning we knew that there was something greater being accomplished than just a good friendship that sparked affection. I can trust that God knows exactly what we need in each season of life. And no matter how difficult the season, there is a chance to yield fruit. 

Currently Listening: "To Whom It May Concern" by The Civil Wars

moving mountains.

  I stumbled upon this picture while finding creative ideas for the holidays. Though this isn't much of a holiday gift idea, nor something I would really make, I think the saying is thought provoking. My guess is that this would be a saying that parents would display in their little girl's room to encourage the bright future that would lie ahead. It is a parent's dream for their kids to do something worthy of talking about. I am no mother but from having parents I know the joy it brings them when I accomplish something or in other words "move a mountain." I want to move mountains. I want to be someone that makes a difference and does difficult things. I imagine that when I was small my parents let their imaginations run wild with the dreams that they had for me to bring to fruition. Great ambition is captured in this small frame.

  Many of us know that life comes fast. Unexpected is the name of every street I have chosen to turn onto. I strongly believe that what is waiting around the corner, though intimidating, gives us opportunities to show character and strength. Groundbreaking scientific cures and profound literature certainly make a name for themselves, but what about the smaller accomplishments? Even a small mountain takes much effort to move. This may be a bit of a ramble but the roots of my thoughts sink deep. For the glory of the Lord, I want to move mountains. I want the Lord to say of me, "Let her sleep, For when she wakes, she will move mountains." It would be the highest honor for the king to say this of a daughter. Maybe one day I won't settle for climbing up the rocks, but rather move the foundation. 

Currently Listening: "Put the Lights on the Tree" By Sufjan Stevens

kerouac.

There was nowhere to go but everywhere.

-Jack Kerouac

Currently Listening: "Crazy For You" by Adele

mugs.

  On a day when a small gift meant so much more, I received this mug from my sister. To add to the fact that I love owls, coffee mugs are my favorite item to collect. I have a small collection at this point in time, but only really special and unique mugs make the cut. A mug warmed by a knitted, owl coffee collar surely surpasses the mark. The thought behind this mug meant so much more than receiving it. It's nice to know that someone is thinking of you. I can't wait to break in this mug with a treat of coffee or Christmas coco. 

Currently Listening: "Tracks in the Snow" by The Civil Wars

wait.

  It is a duty of ours to create a record of life. Some people do this in various ways. Pictures are a main keepsake that contain many memories but there is something to be said for words. Whether or not you are well versed, words are inside of you. These combinations of letters can most often be named feelings or emotions. There is power in the way words are expressed. Many therapists use writing as a remedy or escape for their patients. More so than releasing emotion at the time of feeling, these records then are tucked between the covers of a book and hidden away until later rediscovered. It may be strange, but at times I try to remember my thoughts during a certain event. I think about where I was and how I felt and try to imagine what I could have been thinking. To my own dismay, I continue to put off penning a piece of history in my life.
  Recently, I dug up some old things I had written. Not only did my rapidly written notes remind me of great memories and feelings, they also resurfaced some rough patches of life that I thought, then, I would never get through. On the other side, I find a circumstance rather trivial and small. It gives me hope. Our flesh is so intimidated by time. For a mother's newborn, life is too fast. For a burgeoning relationship, life takes too long. For a troubled heart, life needs to speed up. This taps into the discontent that humans naturally deal with and attests to our failure to glean from wherever we are.
  Reading excerpts from Whitman caused me to ponder a few ideas. Normally his writings encourage me to read as fast as possible to get through the material and be done. Whitman proposes, "To be ripe beyond further increase is to prepare to die." A somewhat morbid picture, yet it brought me hope. Whitman is not one of faith, but his statement seeps with truth. To my heart, it read, "If we have stopped learning and growing, then we cease to live in a way that would produce fruit." A dead tree produces neither good nor bad fruit. It is stale, stagnant and without purpose. We can fall into a paralytic state if we succumb to our condition.
  Even in a season of winter, the tree has hope of spring. The bare limbs are strong against the bitter cold and fallen snow in preparation for fresh growth come warm weather. We can wait. The word gives us plenty of evidence that a season of waiting is of God. "Those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength." (Isaiah 40:31) He is faithful to grant us exactly what we need for each day. Psalms 27:14 tells us to "Wait on the Lord, Be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord." David went through the fire. He knew how it felt to be far away from God, or rather feel like he was. We are asked to draw near.
 
Currently Listening: The low hum of voices in the library.