Wednesday, November 6, 2013

what is marriage?

   This question is large. My efforts within this post are not purposed to fully answer this question, or even answer it to a small degree. It is just to voice my thoughts on the matter. My experience is quite crucial seeing how I have been at it for two and a half weeks. Take it however you like.
   In this stage of life, everything is WONDERFUL. Yes, fun-loving, joyful, exciting are my adjectives for marriage right now. He is my best friend and a joy to be around. I go to work and think, "boy, I can't wait to be home with my honey." I hear these are all good signs and very indicative of the "newlywed" stage that is so often spoken of. I have all the symptoms of this and own them.
   Along with these fuzzy, warm feelings that make you happy inside comes the reality that there are things you would prefer not to do but choose to do anyway. Waking up at 5:30am is not too bad of a deal. Your day starts out without rushing around getting things ready. My warm bed beckons me to return, yet that time in the morning is precious and has made days better. Another example is featured in the picture above. When looking at this picture, I sleep on the right. I think of myself as a pretty neat and organized individual, but when it comes to my bed it is just not a priority. Looking to the left side of the picture shows you that a tidy bed is of the upmost importance to my husband... I make the bed after I wake up. Small details throughout the day are what I have found make a difference. I clean up the dishes from breakfast, Jason takes out the trash. I put on a record for some nice music while cooking dinner and Jason lights the candles in the apartment for that "home-like"smell I love.
   I am no therapist, Ph D holder, or even a seasoned wife, but I do have some knowledge now. It is more important for me to make the effort to do things for Jason that he prefers. I am not under the impression that the newlywed stage will last forever, but I intend on our marriage doing just that. Pulling up the covers is worth it.

Currently Listening: "Souls Like the Wheels" by The Avett Brothers

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

the quiet.

   Between planning, work and various other time-consuming festivities, I have come to realize that being still and taking time is much more of a feat than I had imagined. Of course it is obvious that time alone and in the quiet is good for the soul and spirit, though carving that time out of the daily grind seems almost impossible some days. This morning I have woken up early, before the bird's chirping sounds and soft light coming through my shades. The house was quiet and I was left to think. It had been a while since this time was made a priority. I savored the hour before sunrise on those chilly mornings in New York City. I wanted to fight the drowsy feelings begging me to return to my warmed sheets.
    I like to think I can get back to that place. Mornings are the beginning of something never promised. I want my reflection to be that it was well spent.
    Good morning, everyone.

Currently Listening to silence.

Monday, July 29, 2013

making a home.

  So there is this thing that happens when you grow up... and that is having a home of your own. Now at this point I do not live there, but Jason does, and the process of making it our own little place has begun. Thankfulness is in order to those who have generously given of their discarded, or at the moment unused furniture. When just starting out, you have little. My hope is that we will remain with that amount. Accountability and a great amount of self-control is the ticket.
  On Friday we got the keys to our first apartment. After a couple weeks of making multiple trips to the leasing office with various forms of valid documentation, we finally got a yes! So, Saturday evening the moving process began. It was no surprise that it did not take much to move Jason in. Apart from the bed that was given to us, Jason owns a lamp, some books, two guitars, and some family gifts and heirlooms. What a start! We giggled a bit while deciding what should go where and how we should set up the few items.
  We went to Anthropologie to get some dishes that I had been wanting and the assortment of deliciously colored latte bowls, featured above, made their appearance in our kitchen cabinets. One thing I am learning is to be grateful when things are given to you. It is true that we all have our personal tastes and preferences for what we would like, but there is something to be said for the excitement that should follow receiving a blessing from another. It does not have to be exactly what you pictured, and over time we will begin our own collection of furnishings. For right now, I need to receive and be thankful.
  Jason is an amazing person. He is sweet, gentle and always reminds me of the blessings I have been given. (Not to mention encourages me to have a good attitude).
  To new beginnings and a place to call home!

Currently Listening: "Cats and Dogs" by The Head and the Heart

Monday, July 22, 2013


  Every little girl dreams of her wedding day. While getting older, the dream becomes more of a reality. Blogs, Pinterest, and Tumblr feed this ethereal experience of that "one day." We all end up having ideas about what we would like, however detailed we choose to be. Then the time comes to plan and you learn more about yourself than first realized. Many grooms fear the woman they asked to marry them within this season, and others hope that their lady will get everything done in time. Honestly, there are good aspects on each side. The former gets everything done and is (hopefully) perfectly satisfied with the outcome on the day of the wedding. The latter will mosey along, doing tasks here and there, whimsically pulling together ideas and possibly pulling everything together just in time.
  I stand here today to say that I am completely and utterly the latter of these personalities. I guess I am a dreamer who figures everything has worked out before. My laid back approach has saved the added stress of this season, yet there are still plenty of tasks to finish before October 19th. In my mind, all of the pieces will float together almost magically. The morning of, I will find this perfect field of wildflowers to string together as my bouquet and my attendants' dresses will flow with an ombre perfection as the decorations are placed daintily around the barn. Sounds wonderful to me. Thankfully, I have sweet women who love me and give of their time to coordinate and direct me in the ways I need to go to get things done.

  The exciting portion is still to come. Craft nights, ordering decorations, and picking out bridesmaids' dresses all mean time with the ladies who will stand with me that day. For a focus and goal, I choose to make the most of this time, to have a good attitude and to above all be someone that others want to be around. Easy enough? I guess I will see. In just under three months, I will never have this season again. I will never again be able to gaze at wedding pictures and envision my own day. I want to do this well and to be proactive in my efforts. When it is all said and done, Jason and I will be married, the people will all have some food, and everyone will be smiling.

Currently Listening: "From this Valley" by The Civil Wars

Thursday, July 11, 2013


The part of me that thought around this time last year that I would never love New York City as much as Georgia was simply incorrect. I miss that place. After making the decision to remain in the suburban terrain of Buford for the coming year, floods of emotion missing aspects of New York came over me. The coffee shops, the subway, the people, the experience was like no other place and there is a piece of longing within me that cannot wait to get back. There is something to be said for contentment, and I recognize within myself that it is something I will have to choose consistently. There is beauty in being grateful for what is surrounding you in any moment. In this season of life it will be my family that is welcoming a new baby in January, the precious family I will gain in just over three months, and a rekindled fondness of the place where I grew up.
  More than just NYC, I will miss having those relationships, which I was sweetly blessed with, close by. Those seven ladies made the biggest impact on my experience in New York. Through frustrations, one-on-one talks and great food, we learned to support one another.
  Seasons change. New pieces of life spring up and I want to be in a place where I can be receptive to them. I will be back, New York. All in due time.

Currently Listening: "Madder Red" by Yeasayer

Sunday, June 9, 2013

what you'll find.

  Do not pass quickly in judgment over the smallest of yard sales or bargain shops. Over the past couple of years, I have found some of my favorite articles of clothing, decor, and small joys in the most unlikely of places. Well, as unlikely as Goodwill and antique shops can be. Nonetheless, do not underestimate the goods within the building. My advice: do your research. Know the items you would like and be open to items that are not the exact replica but possibly a close second. Next, try it on. Though the orange stalls of fitting rooms in the local Goodwill is not too appealing, it does no good to end up with an item a couple sizes too big or even one size to small. Finally, take time to look at things. Small holes or stains, which will not be nice to you, create disappointment and frustration even if the item is only a few dollars. (A quick tip: having a mother who can somehow form a unique treasure from a once ill-fitting pair of pants never hurts.) I cannot say that thousands of hours have been apportioned to adventures to various yard, garage and estate sales, but I have been the fateful recipient of an eight dollar vintage Samsonite suitcase and a navy maxi skirt that makes summers in Georgia that much more bearable. Purchases aside, fun always accompanies a trip to the antique store. My sweet fiance posed for me in the above bow tie during our recent trip to "Paris on Ponce" in the VA highlands. Thanks to that hipster-friendly fabric, my man just might sport a Churchillian trademark on a date in the near future. Fingers are crossed here. Be creative. Try something new. Appreciate seasoned possessions.

Currently Listening: "Jolene" by Ray LaMontagne

Monday, May 6, 2013

looking forward.

In a matter of months, this will be me. Embraced in the arms of my best friend, reciting "I do," and beginning a new adventure. I did not expect the past year to look as it has, but I would not change a single detail if I could. A new city, a challenge and many big steps will end with a summer leading up to marriage. In my most fragile state, I feel as though I conquered more than I ever have. I shall leave New York City as a proud "New Yorker," returning to the South to be the Belle of the only ball I want to attend. The end of yet another season is almost over. The same measure of nervousness and  nostalgia has come over me in the past week or so. The Winnie the Pooh quote has been said many times lately, but it is true. "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." But what is even better is that good things wait on the opposite end of this journey as well. 

Currently Listening: "Old Friend" by Low Tree Grow Tall

Monday, January 21, 2013


 No better way to spend a brisk morning than walking over to Penelope on Lexington Avenue. A brunch date with my friend, roommate as well, and our adopted big sister from the House of Susan B. Anthony. Going into explaining the relationship and how it comes to be is irrelevant, but the goat cheese omelette with spinach and mushrooms was enjoyed over a conversation and coffee. Penelope is small. A small entrance of four steps and a bench to the right rarely accommodates the lines of guests awaiting their table. To ease the strain of close quarters, the cafe offers complimentary coffee to those waiting in hopes that the service overshadows the hunger. One thing to know about Penelope is to expect a wait. Also, expect to wait. For two times before today I tried to stick out the wait, but sadly failed. To my delight, brunch was served today in the cozy, window seat corner.
  There are those people who come around that challenge you. For whatever purpose or way, it happens. Sometimes it occurs in a theological sense, at other times by wit, but today it was by language. Maybe I do not read enough novels set in the nineteenth century, or possibly my time is spent speed reading for class the following day. Regardless, it puzzles me how some speech is eloquently strung together with words I have never heard before, or maybe I have but do not think to place them into my sentences. Confidence might have a part to play in the situation. Who would ever use an obscure verb to state something that could be explained with be, being or been? I like to think that my words almost sound lyrical or profound, yet often they fall of my mundane lips with carelessness. It gets me to thinking about how much I think about words, their meaning, and why we use them. Did we not create certain words to serve a purpose such as this? To better relate what a person is trying to say to another? I believe it is the purpose but profane words and slander too quickly become verbiage. I did it there. Verbiage? It is speech or writing that uses too many words.
  Too many words. Is that the problem? To make excuses for a poorly spoken thought, there is a temptation to add a few more words to it. Whatever the cause, I am challenged by those words, however archaic or mundane they may sound.