Saturday, August 30, 2014

new york; part deux.


   So we did it. We made the move that seemed so scary and ominous just a month ago, and now we are dwelling in the tight space of New York City among other millions of people trying to do the same. By acts of fortune and volumes of grace, we were welcomed into the home of a sweet family in the heart of Central Harlem. Was this the way I thought things would go? Absolutely not. Am I thankful and almost happier that things worked out this way? I think one could say that.
    See, whenever someone is about to make a move they have the scenario played out in their head. How the move will go, where you will live on the other side, or what neighborhood you will end up in are major questions that most people have envisioned months before actually packing up. I am guilty of this action and will humbly admit that ALL of my whimsical thoughts were so delicately erased and replaced with the heart of thankfulness for whatever happened. Now I am in no way saying that having hopes of what is to come is a bad thing. I actually find that it helps in working through emotion that comes with any transition. I will say that when the ideas you held dearly get placed on a pedestal and cause a poor attitude due to a different result is the issue. Again, I am humbled to a place of admittance in stating that I have not been grateful in every step.

    I was confronted with this on my walk to the bus stop the other morning. Jason normally walks with me, but that day he had gone to a men's morning of coffee and fellowship. My thoughts were taking me to places of discontent. While walking I saw the stoop of a brownstone nestled between 121st and 122nd. The stairs were clear of any and all dirt or leaves and pots of flowers were delicately placed near the door. The dark wood from the door looked soft in the morning light and I found myself in a wave of thankfulness for where I lived. I was reminded that taking care of the space where you live is important. No, I did not expect to move to Harlem when coming back to this wonderful city, but the experience in a new neighborhood with people who are invested where they live adjusted my mindset.
    Being conditioned to believe that you are only getting somewhere if there is difficulty along the way is somewhat helpful when stepping into a season of life newly married and with only a faint outline of a plan. Even in saying this I am reminded of how most of the difficulty created can be traced back to myself. I hope that this means I am learning and growing, but only time will tell. There is a strong likelihood that Harlem will be our home for the coming year and my heart is to add to the neighborhood with joy instead of detract from the community with a stubborn demeanor.

Currently Listening: "Girls Chase Boys" by Ingrid Michaelson