two days.

  It is all too surreal. This feeling of wandering between two homes I assume will become a familiar one. Friends and loved ones shall remain here as I whisk off to the northern part of the country for my first step of a grand adventure. Without any clue as to what the Lord might be up to apart from attending an upstanding, business-casual wearing college in the heart of the financial district in New York City, I will move. The last days are filled with confused emotions accompanied by intermittent high's and low's. In speaking with veteran travelers, this seems to be normal. The funny thing is that normalcy is exactly what this is not. Packing all of my belongings to set out on my own is quite contrary to the life I have meandered these past nineteen years. If I had foreshadowed the volume involved in my packing,  I might have adjusted my spending in recent years.
  Pile on the logistics coupled with emotion coming from selling my very first car I bought only five short months ago. I find yet another area for myself to release control and believe that the One that holds me in the palm of His hand knows my needs. Craigslist is uncharted territory along with any idea on how to sell a car. Pressure for funds and more emotion in tow, I remember that all I can do is keep walking. "All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided." Words from hymns robotically sung on Sunday mornings cover my heart.
  Set aside the forming my belongings into tetris pieces sorted into boxes and phones calls and emails coming in concerning my car, compared to relationships those are simple. There is not enough time. Even in the best attempts to budget and shuffle, I come up in the red. No, forever is not to be forfeited, but feeling disappointment is difficult to bare. I am confident that the closest people love me. I do not question the support they give to me. Maybe the trick is getting better at this in time. Frankly, the more I reason and say that the packing will require less brain power and I won't have to dole out as many funds to things I will "need," I cannot believe that saying goodbye to any loved one for an extended season becomes automatic.
  Take my thoughts or leave them. Throughout this season I trust that may more will flow.

Currently Listening: The last quiet sounds of nights in the suburbs.