i live here.

 It is no longer something talked about across the dinner table. It has left the category of a prospect and has shifted to reality. I live in New York City. I hear the sounds of sirens down on 34th while I am trying to fall asleep. I wake up to two roommates milling about in our quaint apartment. Personal space has been reduced to my person and that includes being on the streets of Manhattan.
  The question that often comes to mind when speaking to new classmates is, "Did you ever think you would end up in New York City?" I presume it surfaces due to the fact that I scarcely thought of this city, apart from a visit at Christmas time, as a place to call home. Home is more of a sacred term these days. Not to say that the city lacks charm, in many ways I enjoy it. There is just something about those people you love. Without even speaking you are confident of the way they value you. I know full well I am supported. Support just tends to come in the form of phone calls and skype sessions as opposed to hugs and the physical presence.
  In a city stuffed with millions of people from every walk of life, it amazes me how lonely one can feel.  Tears have flooded and fallen from my eyes more than once in this past week. In some moments I have verbally asked myself, "What am I doing here?" It is about an eternal perspective. It is about learning what it is like to trust the Lord when my bank account looks the way it does. If for nothing other than becoming a stronger woman of God, it would be enough.
  I made the mistake of asking the Lord to "do big things" in my life. That is a silly statement. Walking with the Lord for a while now, I know that asking the Lord for big things merely gives Him the opportunity to show His faithfulness to His children in a unique way. Apparently, not everyone in New York City is living by faith, believing the Lord to provide for his or her schooling; it just so happens to be the path I am traversing. If I believe that my God is the "God of the impossible," then I can continue to trust that not one thing I step into is too much for Him to handle. It's a journey, a precious one that can be robbed of its pleasure if we aren't careful.

Currently Listening: "England" by The National