spring in the city.

  Most of the time this city is bearable. You walk places all of the time. In the winter, you make it a point to bundle up and carry your layers and try to hop on the subway to get out of the cold. In the dead of winter, you have almost decided to transplant your life to a sunny place when more piles of snow continue to dump onto the streets assuring you that South is the only good cardinal direction. We have swiftly stepped out of our winter boots and landed in our sneakers, welcoming the warmer weather where we see the sun.
  I would agree with anyone that too often us New Yorkers talk about how awful the winter is here. There is no doubting that the freezing temperatures and constant snowfall can weigh on someone, but there is such glory in living somewhere that experiences all seasons. Being from the South, I only felt slightly chilly days of winter before the sun warmed up the state and we were back to t-shirts come early March. The beginning of this March, and even up to the first day of Spring, we experienced snow in the city. Now I would not say that New York's winter charm is embedded in the number of days we experience snowfall, but the point is that I have never looked forward to the springtime more in my entire life.

  The day I saw sixty degrees on the weather report, I was sure that heavenly realms were rejoicing alongside us as we prematurely wore dresses on Easter morning. Overwhelmed by the excitement, I failed to notice that the temperature would drop a fair amount throughout the day and I would experience the cool breeze on my translucent legs. Regardless, the day was glorious and enjoyed with a brunch at The Grange surrounded by sweet friends. Everywhere I walk now I see flowers. Beautiful bouquets of pinks, greens and yellows lining the outside of supermarkets. Chocolate is now not the only thing I have to say no to when making a quick stop. But more than the curated bouquets, the city comes back to life. Just today I saw the tables of restaurants being swept off and brought outside to enjoy the breeze. French doors have swung open and people have made the walk home an enjoyable experience again.

  There are some things you just don't realize that you missed until you catch a glimpse of their beauty unexpectedly. The buildings on the Upper West Side never looked so ornate before being set against the blue city sky. And even though I will most likely forget this fresh feeling of Spring when winter comes again, I look forward to being reminded.

encouragement via rudyard kipling.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son! 
—Rudyard Kipling

a year in review.

   Most beginnings start with reflection on what recently ended. Not that the ending always has to be bad, but usually there are joys and possibly some remorse over what takes place. 2015. It has begun and without a warning we have been swept into a new year. Maybe it is the lack of events, or the sub-par television broadcasts that take place, but the new year has never felt like a special event. My memories are summed up by time with family or friends and banging on pots and pans when the clock struck 12 AM. I cannot lie and say that I never think about attending glitzy parties and wearing the fanciest dress I own for New Year's Eve. My experience with these parties even leads me to believe that they only happen in the movies. More than a fancy dress, a New Year's kiss, more than anything, a new year brings opportunity.
  In reflection upon the past year, I am overwhelmed by the events that have passed. The beginning of this year provided Jason with the opportunity to work on music full-time. He played shows, completed his second full-length album and had a successful album release show in Atlanta, Georgia. We were able to take fun road trips to Asheville, NC and Nashville, TN to see some of our favorite bands play. We packed up our belongings from nine months worth of marriage and said goodbye to our first apartment to make the move up to New York City. For the past five months we have been juggling four part-time jobs, one internship, and a classes at The King's College. What can we say about where we are now? We feel absolutely blessed by the gift of living in such an amazing city with the hope of budding friendships and growing knowledge of our neighborhood. I have been working on being more mindful lately; mindful of things I have, things I have been given and things that surround me daily. Instead of becoming angry over missing a bus and another not coming for a half hour, I chose to walk most of the way to work and found myself so full with the beauty that accompanied me that morning. A lot of this life is making a choice.
  So this coming year, 2015, I choose to live well with days full of joy and adventure. I choose to work on something so simple as calligraphy, yet travel with my husband throughout the NorthEast. Cheers to a happy and healthy new year.


Currently Listening: "Bold" by Mountains and Valleys

autumn.

  As almost every young lady across the nation has already proclaimed, it is fall and thus begins the most wonderful season of the year. I am quite biased on this opinion and there are plenty of good aspects of other seasons, but without fail, this one is my favorite. Autumn hold memories of baking and pumpkin patches. I remember the beginnings of my relationship with Jason and the cool air that met my face on a morning run with my sister. I think of my first time in the city and how glorious the season was because it saved me from New York's unbearable heat. I get to re-watch You've Got Mail for the hundredth time and fall in love with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks' banter all over again. I think of the preparation that began in March of last year and continued until the most beautiful day I have ever experienced when I married my best friend.

  So many wonderful things about this season. I look forward to celebrating the end to my first year of marriage and also the start of working at In Earnest Magazine as an Intern. It is always good to pause and reflect. I think I spend to much time dwelling on the negative so I am trying to make it a priority to focus on the beautiful aspects of my life that surround me daily.


Currently Listening: "Lost in My Mind" by The Head and the Heart

unexpected.

   One never really knows what to expect. Even within our thoughts of how the word should run, we are overwhelmed with the reality that nothing has gone the way we planned, and yet we are still here. Living. Walking. Breathing. I hop on the bus in the morning on the way to the office and I am surrounded by suits. The closer to Midtown we get, more suits join. Some suits are more worn and others created to have that vintage feel. Some are navy, others grey. They all read with concerned faces. They read a folded Wall Street Journal or the app update on their advanced tablet. They are plugged in. "Or are they?" I think to myself, they look rather consumed in a large number of small words filled with news dripping from the page. I cannot help but wonder if they worry, or are worried, or if I am the same as them, only younger. What do I worry about? Does it take over the peace of my being? Do I consistently crunch numbers in my mind to make ends meet correctly? I have learned that worry is a choice. Even when a person feels as though they are unable to escape the burdensome thoughts, it is a choice. A skill would be making light of the situation.
   Two elderly ladies were in Central Park yesterday. Between the two of them fumbling for directions to Fifth Avenue, they stumbled upon us. They felt silly as native New-Yorkers and were overwhelmed by their miscalculated choice of direction, yet they carried on with us as we led them to their destination. We were strangers, yet they opened up to us. They needed to be turned around and we looked like just the couple for the job. I was delighted that they would ask for the favor, and even more touched when I saw no worry in their demeanor.

Currently Listening: "Happy Alone" by Saintseneca

new york; part deux.

 

   So we did it. We made the move that seemed so scary and ominous just a month ago, and now we are dwelling in the tight space of New York City among other millions of people trying to do the same. By acts of fortune and volumes of grace, we were welcomed into the home of a sweet family in the heart of Central Harlem. Was this the way I thought things would go? Absolutely not. Am I thankful and almost happier that things worked out this way? I think one could say that.
    See, whenever someone is about to make a move they have the scenario played out in their head. How the move will go, where you will live on the other side, or what neighborhood you will end up in are major questions that most people have envisioned months before actually packing up. I am guilty of this action and will humbly admit that ALL of my whimsical thoughts were so delicately erased and replaced with the heart of thankfulness for whatever happened. Now I am in no way saying that having hopes of what is to come is a bad thing. I actually find that it helps in working through emotion that comes with any transition. I will say that when the ideas you held dearly get placed on a pedestal and cause a poor attitude due to a different result is the issue. Again, I am humbled to a place of admittance in stating that I have not been grateful in every step.

    I was confronted with this on my walk to the bus stop the other morning. Jason normally walks with me, but that day he had gone to a men's morning of coffee and fellowship. My thoughts were taking me to places of discontent. While walking I saw the stoop of a brownstone nestled between 121st and 122nd. The stairs were clear of any and all dirt or leaves and pots of flowers were delicately placed near the door. The dark wood from the door looked soft in the morning light and I found myself in a wave of thankfulness for where I lived. I was reminded that taking care of the space where you live is important. No, I did not expect to move to Harlem when coming back to this wonderful city, but the experience in a new neighborhood with people who are invested where they live adjusted my mindset.
    Being conditioned to believe that you are only getting somewhere if there is difficulty along the way is somewhat helpful when stepping into a season of life newly married and with only a faint outline of a plan. Even in saying this I am reminded of how most of the difficulty created can be traced back to myself. I hope that this means I am learning and growing, but only time will tell. There is a strong likelihood that Harlem will be our home for the coming year and my heart is to add to the neighborhood with joy instead of detract from the community with a stubborn demeanor.


Currently Listening: "Girls Chase Boys" by Ingrid Michaelson

vital organs.

Vital Organs by Jason Howell

Artwork by Katie Lynn Howell (moi)

    Since early February, this project has been stewing and marinating in the mind of Jason Howell. With most of the songs written years before the tracking began, kinks were settled to create this beautiful mix of singer-songwriter emotion with melodic cello parts and haunting choruses. Recorded right here in Atlanta, Georgia at The Cottage, Damon Moon used his producing mastery to develop Jason's songs into a complete and succinct sentence. A journey from a lonesome feeling surrounding love and the emotions entailed to the final track where you are taken on a stream of consciousness, wandering along a path traveling up and down the East coast. 

Track Listing:

1. When It Comes to Love

2. Arsenic Eaters

3. Skeletons

4. He That Hath Ears to Hear

5. Company I Keep

6. Mr. Finite

7. The Name Doesn't Make You a Son

8. Vital Organs 

9. Movement

10. Mustard Grain

Stream the whole album here!

If you want to purchase a physical copy of the Vital Organs, meet us at Smith's Olde Bar in Atlanta at 9pm this Friday evening!

Currently Listening: Listed above.